cheat sheets.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Most Popular Facts:

- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, 
  Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. 
  Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only 
  recognizes the element of surprise.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

- Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to 
  a song.
- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what 
  he calls everything around you.


Chuck's Favorites (picked by the man himself)

- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his 
  closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until 
  he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures 
  Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same 
  planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order 
  are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only 
  another fist.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself 
  up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and 
  punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal 
  Flush.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time 
  it is.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after 
  watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, 
  it is a Chucktatorship.